The man in my life said something interesting the other day. Well, before I get into that, I've decided he needs a nickname on this blog to protect the innocent or guilty or whatever. I'll call him The Juggalo because, well, he really likes Insane Clown Posse and I think that's funny.
Okay, so The Juggalo looked at me the other day and essentially commented that he was impressed with my dedication to raising the kid (oh, she needs a nickname too. Rapunzel. Because she is OBSESSED with that stupid Tangled movie). I kind of laughed awkwardly. While it's nice to be complimented for my "parenting prowess", I'd just like to mention that its not exactly true.
Yes, I'm looking out for her well-being and yes, I love her very much, but if I'm trying to teach her something, it's usually out of pure selfishness. I'm not some great, selfless parent. I just don't want to live with a tiny asshole.
Kids are assholes. They're rude beyond belief. Thoughtless, incredibly self-centered, constantly interrupting, messy and kind of stinky. Left to their own devices, most kids are going to err on the side of asshole. I don't much care to spend my time with a tiny asshole. So I teach her to not interrupt, to chew with her mouth closed and PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD swallow her food before opening up to say something. I teach her to ask before she climbs all over me because NO ONE likes having a large sticky toddler using their body as a jungle gym.
The Juggalo laughed until he realized I was telling the truth. My child raising style is all.about.me. If I don't want to deal with something, I'll teach Rapunzel not to do it. The end. I understand that it's making her a better person and more fit to be a part of society and whatever, but that barely registers on my radar when I realized that I need to teach her something.
Case in point: I don't care much if other people look at me in Target when my kid decides to have an earth-shaking tantrum. I smile and wave as they stare, I kid you not. However, I don't much enjoy dealing with big tantrums myself, so THAT's why I'm teaching her to manage her stress better. It's not for your benefit and maybe not even for hers, it's for mine.
I'm sure she'll appreciate it when she's not an asshole adult, though, that's for sure.
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